Grammar Idol
Greetings, America, and welcome to Grammar Idol! This season, we’ve got three languages in the home stretch. Who will make it to Van’s day planner? Find out tonight! Will it be Hindustani, with its charming, geminated consonants? How about Korean, which has come from behind with its lovely subject and object markers (keeping things simple is its thing). Or will it be Italian so that she feels justified making chickpea spaghetti and saying , “partitive articles.”
Van: Oh, geez, I’ve lost my pen again.
Let’s get started with Hindustani, ladies and gentlemen! Now, as we know, Van became interested in Hindi because she loves mythology, and because her mother named her sister, Kailee, in part after the goddess Kali. Sure, Van has been known to enjoy curry and asked her Uber driver what kind of fruits grow in Pakistan, but when it comes to languages, she is passionate about both their grammar and their cultural contexts, and Hindustani is especially important because it is primarily spoken in two different countries (India and Pakistan!). She has a quaint guide to the Hindi alphabet and one of her favorite series, the Practice Makes Perfect Series. Now, Van is already familiar with the Arabic alphabet, which would make reading Urdu a bit easier. But is this enough to make Grammar Idol?
Van: I found it! Oh, geez, I stepped on it.
Okay, America. Next we have Korean waiting in the wings for its chance to shine. As we know, Korean is considered (on Wikipedia) to be part of the Koreanic family! The wonderful thing about Korean is that Van, naturally, spent several of her undergraduate years in the Korean Club at UNM and managed to learn absolutely nothing of the language, but made lifelong, wonderful friends and was moved by the generosity of the Korean exchange students who peopled her world, their patience with her questions, and her discovery of kimchi.
Van: I have kimchi in the fridge. But I can’t get my jar open.
Let’s take a look at our third contestant! ITALIAN! Let’s hear it for a Romance language so good she will understand some operas! Van spent a great deal of her high school years immersed in Latin. Once it finally got through her thick skull what declension was, why there was no stopping her! And it gave her a thrill, did it not, when she heard the way that the advanced Latin sounded positively Italian!
Here is the thing, America: Van would love to learn more Hindustani literature, would love to visit beautiful India and lovely Pakistan. Seoul sounds like a city right up her alley, and if she spoke Italian, she could read Dante in his native tongue. The literary traditions of these nations are strong, demanding respect, and Van can’t seem to open that jar of kimchi anytime soon.
Van: It’s true.
Who will win? Who will get the title of next language for Van to study? The tension is strong! But, America (or, you know, Facebook), YOU decide! Who will it be?
