Reflections on Choice in the Evening and Night
I.
The night sky is whittling away at the sun and its light, leaving me star-eyed and introspective.
On evenings like this, as I settle into myself, I think a lot about what it means to be a feminist, to be pro-choice, to be someone who dreams above all things to be a good person, someone who leaves this world better than how she found it. I know that I have the right to choose if and when to have a child; I believe that all people have that right. I am unshakeable in that regard, but I am frightened sometimes that what is just is not always what is achieved without struggle.
Mississippi has asked a conservative-leaning Supreme Court to overturn Roe v. Wade, and I am among the millions of voices horrified by such a future (one that is reasonably possible) but determined to affect positive change for our fellows and our communities. I can knock some words around on what I and many others want to see instead of gutting Roe v. Wade: Paid parental leave; access to a universal and high-quality healthcare; guaranteed daycare; access to birth control; a promise of respect and support. But words can sometimes be hollow as wind — it is time for all of us to take action. It is also time to state the truth: We all know and love someone who has had an abortion.
II.
It is difficult to see the stars in Albuquerque, but even in my city I know they are only a cloudy ceiling away, ever far and ever close, and all that exists down here on the ground works toward a greater good. I have always wanted to see the Andromeda galaxy in particular because knowing something so important and immortal as a story can conquer even galaxies brings me closer to my human heritage. Even our cosmos is stippled with story! The stars themselves can feel our presence. I am humble; I am wild with possibility. We are humble; we are capable of anything, even yoking the heavens with our mythologies.
We can do anything. And for some people, their quest to be the heros and heroines of their own lives is possible because of safe, legal abortion. I have never been pregnant (outside of dreams), thus my position must be one of friendship for all people who have made their choices, whether that choice was simple or challenging. That is itself something to note here. There are as many stories as there are choices. Magnifying those stories can only serve all of us.
III.
I was not always aware of the importance of choice. As a teenager, I was actually rather zealously anti-abortion. I can only reflect on that period with a certain amount of shame and guilt. I can also only try to make amends by being the most courageous and educated person I am capable of.
And if the night sky makes you feel small, it is only because you have miles to go and forgiveness to seek, but find it you will. I do believe that choice will lift us up, will enable us to become someone who feels they can influence the stars.
IV.
The sun is gone now, but I know it will return tomorrow.
